Parenting

And All You’re Ever Gonna Be Is Mean

My oldest daughter has the most beautiful blonde mop of curly hair.

It is seriously so soft and full of perfect spirals. I’m so jealous of it and I tell her that all the time. I’ve paid a lot of money over the years to try to attain a crown as beautiful.

She’s gotten used to people remarking on and complementing her for her hair over the years. So, yesterday when a classmate asked her if her curls were soft and could she touch them, Emma didn’t think much about it.

Not even when the classmate started to laugh and another classmate said “No, don’t do it.”

Don’t do what?

The “what” was described to me by an administrator at the school as a completely unprovoked and violent tug of her hair. He told me that just watching the video footage of the incident he knew it had to hurt.

This was when he called to inform me about what happened and to assure me that while he couldn’t give me specifics, it was handled.

After discussing it with my child, reaching out to her teacher, and considering the conversation I had with the school administrator, I just find myself so floored by it.

It was, by all accounts, just someone actively choosing to harm someone else. It was just someone actively choosing to be mean. It was just someone actively choosing to laugh about it as my daughter cried in pain.

The sheer cruelty in those facts makes my heart so heavy.

I will never, ever understand no matter how long I live why some people are just mean.

Don’t they know that you will never ever get taller by attempting to make someone else feel smaller?

We had lots of big feelings in this house last night. Lots of them.

This wasn’t a teaching moment I ever would want to have, but there we were.

Our conversation went a little like this…

“Hurt people hurt people. Something is happening in that girl’s life to make her feel like she has to behave this way to feel better about herself.

Her actions and her feelings toward you are not your problem. You are who you are and you are enough.

Do not let it dull your sparkle because guess what? You’re so far above it. You are incredible and wonderful with pretty badass hair.

She’s just mean and that’s all she’s ever going to be.”

Kindness isn’t hard.

Being a good human isn’t hard.

It takes so much more energy to harbor hate and negativity in your heart and to be mean.

That’s it. That’s the message here. Just be kind. This world is heavy enough on its own these days there is no need to add to it.

Just. Be. Kind.

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