Parenting, Special Needs

What I Wish Someone Had Said to Me

Dear Mama,

Today you received your little one’s diagnosis. You have answers. Sometimes answers make more questions. Sometimes answers suck. Sometimes answers are just hard to absorb.

Today is a hard day, I know- I’ve been there. Sometimes there is no preparing your heart no matter how hard you have tried.

The day I received my older son’s Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis I was a cornucopia of emotions.

I was sad.

My heart grieved. My tears weren’t because there was something “wrong” with my child. The tears fell because I was accepting that autism would be with us forever and autism would complicate some things for my boy. All parents want life to be as simple as possible for their children and autism added a caveat of hard to his life.

I was angry.

How many times in our lives do we say, “It isn’t fair?” That is how I felt. It didn’t feel fair that my boy would struggle.

It didn’t feel fair and I felt angry that the pediatrician didn’t take me seriously when I first suggested something wasn’t right. We lost precious months of early intervention because I wasn’t being taken seriously.

I was lost.

Okay. We had a diagnosis, but now what? They hand you a nicely typed report and send you out to navigate it yourself. There is no one size fits all therapy combination and nothing holds guarantees. It took me a moment to find my footing again.

I wish that someone would have told me that it was okay to feel my feelings. Because you know what? It is okay to feel every which way you feel in this moment!

Be mad. Be sad. Be relieved. Be stressed. Be strong. Be whatever you need to be. Give yourself the grace to feel what you need to feel.

I don’t have a crystal ball and I don’t know that it will ever be “alright” in my life so I can’t truly tell you it will be “alright” in yours.

What I can tell you, though, is there is nothing like the power of a mother.

There is nothing like the unstoppable Mama Bear who will be there and advocate and take to task whoever’ be it a doctor, insurance company, therapist, school, whoever she has to to fight for her child.

There is nothing like a Mama who loves beyond measure and believes in her child.

No matter where this path takes you, know that you’re not alone.

And know that you and your sweet child will be okay- whatever your “okay” looks like.

One day you’ll look back and these feelings you have now won’t be so raw. You will feel stronger and more seasoned. You will have a new understanding of yourself, your child, and the world around you.

You will get to the other side.

I’ll be cheering you on along the way.

Love,

Me

1 thought on “What I Wish Someone Had Said to Me”

  1. Well said! My daughter’s diagnosis came in Feb of 2019 and wow, the emotions were BIG (good and “bad”) and they came in waves for months. All that we’ve experienced since then has been very educational, in the least schoolish way possible, lol. We’ve learned so much, SHE has learned and grown so much. It’s encouraging and I hope more and more moms and dads share their autism stories. 🙂

    Like

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